Wednesday, 14 March 2012


Nur Fadhilah Zainudin,
i called her DILAH,
my sister + my soulmate + my adorable listener,
a SUPER good friend of mine,
who graduated from SHARODZ + Sbpi SELANDAR,
she is currently studying at UNITEN Bangi,
a cheerful mate with charming smile and loving character,
"she will always be there for me ".

sweet partner

DANGER ! this is a super long emotional post.
I don't know why, i don't know how, i don't know what to write about u,
because u are so meaningful to me "."

Everything started 7 years ago at the JUSCO mall, Ayer Keroh. We hangout after school together with Aini Hafizah, my twin. We were not from the same class, but we could still get along with each other happily because Allah had chosen her to be my best friend. During Ramadhan, kami uzur. The rule stated that those who uzur must go to the DM for tazkirah, but we didn't. I followed Fadhilah to her hostel. We talked, talked n talked without taking the rule in minds. "semua pelajar yg berada di dalam Blok F, sila berhimpun di tapak perhimpunan"... ambik ! i told her, "habislah weyh, da kantoi, mesti kena demerit ni"...utk sedpkan hati she replied "ala, demerit je pun".. : ) we were like "hot worms" yg dijemur under the glittered sun n we got a free brain wash session by our discipline teacher, Pn, Mazlina..

During Form 2, i was in 2 KKQ (kelas kemahiran Quran) n she was stdyg in 2 Khadijah. Next to my class. We started to become close cause she often came to my class to meet deqwa. We share our stories together with deqwa n ballet without noticing that we actually got the same minds. I remembered one moment when ballet cried because of me. I'm the fool in that case n finally i seeks for forgiveness frm them. The childish incident opened an opportunity for four of us to be super crazy mates. Starting from that day, we always spent time together during recess at the hill, under the red saga tree..wajah2 excited ballet in each days utk share bekal kami mmg bole dilupakan :P
masa form 2, lepas sekolah, kami selalu kejar bus utk jalan2 di Mahkota. normally on friday. nakalkan ? our normal conversation would be :

deqwa : sape nak bgthu mak aku kita nak pg MP ni?
kami : jom pg blik guru same2, mak kau mst bagi punye :P
kami : ballet, kang turun kat guard kau pandai2 cover "kaf".. jalan laju sikit dpn pkcik jaga gemuktu. mlm ni tidur uma yani.
at the bus stop,
i would say this : "weyh, cover weyh, ayah aq selalu lalu dpn bus stop ni, bahaya"...hehhehe...

Yes we were naughty girls. kalau bab2 nak "fly" ni, i was the leader ! i didn't stay in hostel, ouch WE didn't stay in hostel except ballet, so she often sneaked into my car :P Everyday during recess, we would try to meet each other n ate together either kat pondok pink or bawah pokok saga merah tu. Kami mmg talkative. Its a fact.
jeng jeng jeng, pada suatu hari, ketika program gerak minda PMR, slot English.

ayat biasa utk fly, "xpayah pegila, slot BI mst bosan.."... kami tukar baju sukan, dgn sliper ticket.. me, ballet, tqa n hanani pegi survey pagar hijau blkg rumah Ustzh azian, huhu..nani said, "xde lubangla nak lalu".. "eh aku ada idea, panjat pagar blkg nak ?"...i said " jom weyh, baru havoc"..
kene kejar dgn pakcik jaga..then menyorok kat blkg pokok rumah org, waitg for dila to fetch us.. budak frm 3 wat prangai mcm ni? do u trust this? till now, my parents didn't know~
i texted dila EVERYDAY, n she replied me EVERYDAY.Revision smbil bermsj, sounds like happy dovey couple kan? thats us!
they are my first sweet + happy + precious best friends in this whirrlworld.
4 of us did well for PMR, so everyone got the offers to futhr studies at SBP. Ballet got Sains Muar, whereas deqwa n me got Selandar. Dila didn't manage to get the first call, so mmg sedih gila la kami.. semua dah nak berpisah. Its hard to leave her, SO hard : (
during my first day at Selandar, i dial up her number.. she was the first one to hear my voice through the my new school public phone. yea i missed her a lot !

when me n deqwa returned back to SHARODZ, dila got the offer for SBPI Selandar. OMG ! kami balk sekolah lame, die pulak nak pg sane. But we didn't stop her frm doing so, sbb die sgt interested in Technical class. She went back home every weeks.. So every weekends we would text n call each others. She was my postwoman ! haaa this is a bad story to be shared but yea she was the one who often delivered my mails n goodies to him. hey thanks dear ! *tetbe teringat ferrero roche tu. heeee. nevermd let bygones be bygones.

i fall sick in 2008, i was warded frequently. haizeer was the first one to know abt this, yea cause he brought his phone to school, n he told both of them abt me. this were the moments i felt a profound attachment btw me and her. once I'm stucked on the hospital bed, i would definitely ask my mum to call her up though i knw she wouldn't pick up cause it was school times !
I feel delighted when someone cared about me more than what i thought.

she visited me if she came back home. she saw the bandage on my head, she saw the bruises n she holded my ill hands. she did evrytg for me, she was so worried about me.
she kissed me, she hugged me every time we met, n she used to tell this ,
" kau kena kuat k sayang, kalau kau xkuat, aku pun xkuat :(

she always called me to check on my conditions, same goes to syakirin. they were so concern about my condition n my health up until now ! i swear no one could ever replace them in my life !

she was not as healthty as what u thought, yea we were ill. i kept on worrying abt her in every single days, dia da minum susu ke belum, die sihat ke x.. mcm kids kan? but thats our friendship is all about. it treasured the value of CARE.. masa frm 5, her mom suffered frm abortion. i did visit her n she told me somtg bad about dila's health. this was few days before SPM. what did i do ? i CRIED crazily till my dad dint knw how to consult me.. finally i told him kat ruang tamu, after mgrb..
" ayah, die kawan baik mel,td mama die cerita pasal die, mel xsangka its that bad sbb die appear like notg went wrong pun, kalau die xde, mel pun xkuat nk shat mcm today, die yg jaga mel, did yg ambil berat pasal mel, i wana see her, please".. dear, this is why mama n ayah came to selandar to see u. i kept it as a secret so that you won't feel down n sad.
your tears will stimulate mine though our eyes don't meet each others.

i don't know why n how. every time she felt sad, i would felt uncomftble.. n i would text her or call her. maybe i felt so due to our sincere friendship. I'm a type of person who was so hard to cry, but she changed me. every time her face popped my mind, i couldn't stop my tears from rolling down my chin.. i know everytg about her, yea i can say EVERYTHING. i know her family, i knw her well. I am so serious when talking abt her. We are good friends. So, actually i hate when people told me bad things abt her. sebenarnya,it was hard for me to respond to them. Cause to me, u didn't treasure her life. U didn't put ur self in her shoes, u didn't experience what she had ass through, u didn't knw how she values money. She did that because of her conditions. U DONT KNOW ! but I KNOW, so , SHUD UP !

She would always be the first one to know about my love relationship, my studies n my health problem. I called her few minutes after i received my SPM result. i could hear her happy voices. i knew she did doa for me a lot.. One thing i can never forget is, she is MY EVER BEST LISTENER.
Trust me.She didn't feel reluctant to hear my happy, bad stories, even my nightmares. Semua rungutan yg keluar from my mouth die dengar .She didn't refuse to listen. She is my second ears. Sometimes i did crack some silly jokes that everyone would not be laughing at, but she would cause she really take care of my heart ! I told her everytg about me, everytg. Maybe after i die, she will tell those stories that i shared to my parents cause they don't knw much about myself.

Kerisauan aq pada kau xpernah berkurang even sedikit pun dear sbb aq kenal kau n i know every sngle things abt u. I rather spent my scholarship money for u instead of rewarding myself with it.
Our frndshp is not about money pun, no ! but its all about true love, sincere care, n profound attachment <3

kalau kau nak tawu, sebenarnya aq xde cita2 pun nak jd doctr, i wana be a pilot or acturist, tapi i realise that those ambitions won't allow me to help u n yin.. so aq try jugak paksa diri ni utk wat medic. Aq xsuka tengok kau dgn yin sakit. Aq terlalu syg sgt kat korang. Thats all.Doakan aku ea. I know my medical school akan jd sgt tough sbb i don't adore it, tapi aku percaya kalau aq ikhlas buat semua ini for the sake of HIM, in order to heal u n yin, He will definitely ease me.

This is what make me strong n strve hard to do medicine even aku xminat,
" Dunia hanya sekadar perhiasan yg lara, tetapi pengisian yg baik dan ikhlas di dunia itulah yg akan mendekatkan kita ke pintu syurga, InsyaALLAH"
" orang yang baik ialah orang yg boleh memberi manfaat kpada yg lain "

i will try hard to make u happy, insyaallah i will. Sincerely aku xboleh dgr kau susah, kau sakit, kau sedih even sumtimes aq xberdaya utk bantu pun, but i trust this, My doa will always lighten u.

there are so much things nak cerita about u, but i guess is shud stop till here n let those stories lay in my heart kay? few days lagi bufday kau, but i won't be in msia, aq takut xde internet connection or phone aq way hal kat sane. so can i wish u earlier ?

Happy 20 th Bufday Sweetheart !
May all HIS blessings adorn ur life, ur entity.
U did a lot for me, the word "thank u" won't be enough,
so i wish my prayers will repay all ur kindness towards me.
kau kena jaga diri k, xlame lg aq da nak pergi jauh, xle nak lepak2 dgn kau, xle nak msj slalu,
xle nak cerita mcm2 lgi dgn kau. Its hard, aq tawu tu.
but i got no choice,insyaAllah natty bila aq da jd doctor, aq akan sntasa rawat kau taw.
aq xnak kau sdh2, kau jgn asyik nak tipu aku tipu aku by showing ur happy face n cheerful voices,
i know u well.. sharing is loving kan?
da 8 tahun kita kawan, mcm2 yg kita share n treasure, insyALLAH aku xkan lupa semua tu.
Promise me that u will work hard for ur degree, aq nak dtg masa kau grad with the tremendous result nanty.
jaga keshtan tu, jgn nak dgil2.
eat on time, eat ur medicine as well.
U will always have me, anytime, anywhere.
thank you for the precious frndshp , aq xmmpu balas semua tu melainkan DIA,
i love u fillah.

-with love, care, hugs n kisses : mel-

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