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Im here typing up this entry, just to say sorry. Yea I realise that I have changed a lot ! Im not so close to those who used to be my listeners, im not as crazy as before, i don't speak out as loud as before, MAYBE im not as nice as the past hariyani who really care about her best friends. By hook or by crook, she will do everything just to cheer them up. Even though if she needs to risk her life, she will do it for them. MAYBE I don’t appear to be that type anymore.But, before I start revealing, please bear in mind,
I NEVER FORGET WHAT U DID FOR ME,
I ALWAYS APPRECIATE OUR CHERISHED MOMENTS TOGETHER.
I REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE STORIES THAT WE SHARED.
DO U KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY SISTERS ? NOT MY FRIENDS !
As expected, I knew this will happen soon. Its happening now. My sisters said this :
1) -You don’t care me just like before
2) ..You have found the one who can guide u better, not me.
3) ..You forget what I did for u
4) ..You have changed
5) I put a lot of burden on u, im sorry
6) ..You seldom spend time with us
7) ..You seldom hangout and meet us
I don’t have sisters. But I reckon them as my sisters cause they are not my friends. They care me more than what friends could do. They love n treat me as their baby girl. They do everything for me. They are in my sides, all the time though Im wrong. They come and visit me if Im not in the pink of health. They eat what I cook, they apprciate what I give. They don’t complain. They advise me when I go wrong. They know everything about me, even my self didn’t. They save my wrong deeds in the safe box. They are my ever good listeners. They are my loyal companions.
When I first started my life in Shah Alam, seriously I miss them a lot ! I was surrounded with those skema people, the book worms. All my hosemates are not my cup of tea. They are different. There came the moments when I cried on my own, I laughed alone cause evryone was so busy with their own life. But I learnt something there, we cant always depend on others cause we have Allah. I have to be strong. I have to be independent. Friends are gifts from Allah. Someday, Allah will pull them away from me, so I have to learn how to appreciate them even though distance separates us. DOA. DOA. That’s my gun. I used it to value my friendship. Its hard when I could just contact them on phone. They were busy, they had their own life, they had to study, and same goes to me.
There were moments when my sisters were not well, problems showered them. I remember when she cried on phone, telling me how sad she was, the guy hurted her. I knew how bad she felt.. How broken her heart and how depressed she was. How hard her life. She needed me. My exam was around the corner, I made a decision to take a train to reach her place. I must comfort her. But it was late in the evening, my housemtes didt allow me to do so. Dorang halang ! , “no u couldnt go alone hariyani, its dangerous “.
Poor hariyani, I could do nothing for her that time besides comforting her with messages and phone calls. But I always believe this. My DOA will heal them. Allah will listen to me.
My second sister felt sad. Someone bulied her in hostel. She couldn’t bear with that anymore. She cried to me on the line. She texted me and we had conversations. I worked hard to cheer her up cause I didn’t want to see her, sacrifying her study with tears. Dumping her books just because of the suck buddy! I was stuck in the same situation, nothing can be done except texting ang calling on phone. Advising and calming on the line were much different than holding hands and landing your heads on me.
Only DOA can give me a stir of pleasure when those I care the most were suffering from problems as well as illness.
*terpaksa cerita semua utk betulkan keadaan, semoga allah xclaim those I did as riak..hurm,
So, should I tell u guys that I doa for u everytime I pray and everytime when ur faces knocked off my minds? Should I tell u that I often cried because I feel ur burdens? Should u know how difficult i faced when I have to put aside our friendship for a while during my exams? Do u know how miserable I was when I herd that u were not well or u fall sick? Even just a simple flu? Sholud I tell u that I sticked up our photos on my wall and lockers, so that I will always miss u n pray for u ? Do u ever notice why I always asked u what time is ur exam?? But should I tell u that during ur exam’s hours, though my lecture was in the class, I sat at the last row, alone, so that I can split my mind and separate it into two, doa for u and lecture session? Should I tell u that I think of u everytime I eat, (agaknya dorang makan ape ea arini, dorang ade duit tak).. everytime I went to secret recipe, which is almost everyday, Ill sit and eat the cake cause I miss both of u ? Both of u used to feed me that cakes! Chocholate banana and rasberry cheese.. maybe korang pun xingat kan jenis cake yg mane, but I remember! perlu ke nak bgthu semua tu ?
U didt know that ! Though I seldom text or message both of u during my A level, u were always in my heart.
*im not a good muslimah, but I know the power of DOA.
*my classmates often scolded me if I couldnt’t study just because I kept on worryng about my sisters. They said im a kid cause I mixed up friendship and study. They said that im a loser. But I didn’t bother!
I didn’t care what people said cause my sisters were whom I pour out my hard stories with. Its not fair if I simply share my burdens with them but not willing to lighten theirs. Life is what we give back to others, not what we get from others.
i dont deny that i shared a lot of things with both of u. you are faithful listener. thank you. i was the chosen one to own sisters like both of u ! i appreciate both of u, may allah repay u with jannah.
Recently Im close to a girl. We had a conflict before, and im sure both of u knew whos her. I remembered the moments I dial up ur numbers to share my tears. I felt sad for what the guy did to me. I was heavily depressed. I called both of u, nearly an hour. I cried and u cool me down. U lend me your sholuders for my tears to drop on. U were there when I need u the most. I made a mistake for judging her before I know her better. But as soon as I realised that I was wrong, I called her and asked for forgiveness. I did mistakes. Her heart is more beautiful than I thought., cleaner than mine. I made an entry for her in my blog, we hangout during my birthday, we often comments kat Facebook , we share everything. She is sincere to me.
She is having holiday now, just like me. So, we often spend times together. She will go far soon. So, it is wrong if I become close to her? I don’t see any bad points there. I offered u guys to join us durg my birthday kan? Tapi, korang ade hal masa tu, so its okay, aku faham. Birthday je pun. Then, when I hangout with her, I asked you to be with us right? we came to ur house what. But one of u was in terengganu, so I didn’t ask u to join me for the seoul garden outing.
Is it fair if u claim me as LUPA KAWAN?
If korang xpuas hati sebab entry tu, yelah xfair sebab aq baru je kenal dia, then da wat entry cerita pasal frndshp kami.. ok, fine. But do u know that im collecting all the sweet and wonderful moments that we shared utk di postkan dalam blog aq soon? Aq baru kenal die, so cerite kami pendek. Cerita kita, confirm panjang berjela, so I need time nak syncronise semuanya.. aq kenal die xsampai setahun, kita kawan bertahun-tahun, thus friendship kita banyak memory..so banyak nak tulis, tengah draft. korang xtahukan ?
if korang xpuas hati sebab aq selalu keluar dgn dia, dia sleptover kat rumah aq. Let I ask u this, selalu jekan kita keluar same? Baru2 ni pun ade kan kita jumpa. : )
Just to stress on this , kami tengah cuti, dah hbs foundation. Otak kami tgah free. Korang tgah busy gila dgn assgmnent n kawat bagai.. Aq faham. Aq xnak korang rase terbeban kalau aq asyik nak ajak keluar la, nak msj la, nak call slalu.. im a student too, so I know.
Texting everyday , calling everyday.. does a true friendship need that ?
Do u know that im ur faithful stalker ? though I don’t text u evryday, I know ur timelines. Even kau couple pun aq tawu before u tell me. Kawan kau, kawan aku jugak. So if I asked about u daripda mereka, korang xtawukan ??
Commonla, we are adults. Xnak la sbb benda kceil ni, kita terasa hati. Then xrapat macm dulu..i appreciate that u guys love me a lot ! u care me so much.. alhamdulillah.
Everytime I wake up from my bed, ill check my phone, the first things I say will be, “ alhmdulilah allah masih pinjamkan mama n ayah, adik2 utk mel arini. Alhamdulillah xde message yg sedih tentang yin, dilah, alifah, they are well today ! ”.. setiap kali after solat, i ll say this " alhamdulillah allah mash pinjamkan kawan2 yg sgt memahami utk aq n bla bla bla ? " * xkan nak tulis do a aq kat sini pulakkan :p
Aq kena kena bgthu semua tu ke supaya xde orang yg akan terasa hati ??
Sometimes we have to keep those good things that we do for our friends utk pelihara keikhlasan hati. Xnak la riak n lorat2 cerita the ways I appreciate kamu. Korang sentiasa dalam doa aq, bukan slalu dalam doa aq. differentkan ?
“Distance will never alter the value of friendship cause DOA will always connect us ”
Anyway, IM SORRY for everything. I neglected both of u. Maafkan aq, sorry yea.
I don’t forget u !!! im not the one who dump their best friends when she got a new friend. Im not the one who forget those who cherished her teenage life just to be with those who are in her new life.
I hope that we will stay close to each other. May the profound friendship between us bloom till we die.
Smile, anyway masa nak fly nanty, korang dan alifah hantar aq kat KLIA ea.. *saje nak mengade : p
I love both of you more than i love myself
Our friendship will never end until my last breath
"tidak sempurna iman seseorang itu selagi dia tidak berasa gembira atas nikmat yg allah beri kepada sahabatnya"
