hatiku

28.02.1965

his birthday, his born day !

the great man : )

we celebrated it yesterday,

0n 27.02.12.. at holiday inn hotel.

kami selalunya akan celebrate any events on the night before the date.

Yesterday was supposed to be a happy day, but...hurm. We went to Putrajaya. I was not in the pink of health..So my mood swung ! Ayah ajak berbual n discuss some matter but i seemed to be deaf, jawab sepatah due je..Im sorry, seriously i couldn't show any smile on my face, i just wished to stay home n sleep. My throat was really horrible, aaah terrible as well. Together with my blocked nose, n severe headache.. I'm sure u can imagine how its right ? I'm weak, thought it sounds simple, but i didn't ever manage to bear with the sore throat since i was a primary kid. Its just like patches clothing that hurt me so much .. We stopped by at the stall, he said to me, lebih kurang macamnila :

“Tidak ada kesusahan (atau bala bencana) yang menimpa (seseorang) melainkan dengan izin Allah,dan sesiapa yang beriman kepada Allah, Allah akan memimpin hatinya (untuk menerima apa yang telah berlaku itu dengan tenang dan sabar),dan (ingatlah), Allah Maha Mengetahui akan tiap-tiap sesuatu”.(at tagaabun:11)

and teringat ila post kat fb :

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: Tidaklah seorang muslim tertimpa suatu penyakit dan sejenisnya, melainkan Allah akan mengugurkan bersamanya dosa-dosanya seperti pohon yang mengugurkan daun-daunnya. (H.R. Bukhari)

i tried to be happy, i tried to be talkative, i tried to respond to him... aaaaa but i couldn't ! and berlarutanla smp ke tgahari, i went to the pharmacy n bought difflame.. i need my drugs ! huh.. heeee then everytg went well.. i smiled, i laughed n we had our lunch at gardens, alamanda together with my mum ! cakap pasal alamanda, teringat alifah dgn fadhilah yg selalu lepak alamanda..mereka stdy kat bangi, so dekatla dgn putrajaya ni..guess what, i sat on the white swing with him ! so sweet meyh : ) *mama jealous!

mcm biasala, da buat salah mesti minta maaf kan?

mel :ayah, mel minta maaf tadi mel serious xde mud, tekak mel skt sgt *innocent face

ayah : its ok, ayah faham.. mcmane mel nak pg INDIA ni? kalau sakit tekak lg how? sinus mel ni makin teruk kan..ayah xde nak layan mel..u are my young daughter even mel da besar pun , mel tetap same mcm kecik2 duluu..**pegang jarl ayah.. this is my habit when i was a small kid.. ! *his serene face

dulu masa sekolah, kalau sakit tekak, yin dgn dila yg paling risau. dorang mesti akan msg n kept track on my health cause they felt my pain..thank both !

as we reached home, dengarla azan maghrib, terus mandi, solat n siap utk dinner. It was raining instensely. We drove separate cars. Bila smp Holiday Inn, aaa xde parking ! but thank allah, suddnly 2cars emptied the parking lots. Thats is the power of being patience kan?

ayah memang xsuka tengok perempuan yg berpakaian xsempurna ni, i mean the mini skirt with sleeveless blouse..gelak kuat2.. they are singers kat hotel tu..double hatred sbb ayah xsuka music ! rumah kami xde radio, dalam kereta pun pasang CD mengaji.. its crystal clear la kan he reaally hatees music ! hurm that bunch of women duduk bersebelahan dgn meja kami pulak. huh ! again, his mood spoiled.. he didnt talk much though we tried to crack jokes.. but the mini jolts didnt fill the air..the jokes didnt bear fruit..nak ambil gambar pun die seemed so reluctant.

when i reached home, i got a call saying that my relative had just passed awy.. hurm what a gloomy day maaaan ! the bufday bash was ruined. sadness overhwelmd us.. yea me, him, my mum n all.. dugaan kan? redha, " kullu nafsin zaa iqatul mautt".. innalillah..al fatihah for her.

lpas da selesai semua, esok tu we went home which was this morning. Suddnly terlintas kat kepala, nak ambil gambar dgn ayah so that kat India nanty bolehla tengok2 gambar, i wana hug him.. dgn baju kurung putih, trun kereta je i hugged him n my mum took our picture ! heeee : )

the grief moment ended.. semuanya datang dari Allah, yg baik itu dari dia, yang buruk itu kelemahan kami.. yeaa sdh sbb birthday dia tahun ni xhappening or even fun mcm tahun lepas.. hadiah pun beli wallet Bonia je sbb xtawu nak beli ape as he got piles of kemeja yg belum dipakai, 1 box pens yg belum diguna.. n semuanya die sudah ada. He is so trifty, dia xmembazir, act those stuff tu pun kami yg beli for him either on bufday, or any other special days..

my words was :

" ayah, happy birthday ! mel sayang ayah. Mel doakan supaya Allah sntsa bersama ayah xkira masa sng or susah, hope ayah sntsa shat, tabah n happy mcm selalu.,Doakan mel jd good girl, good muslimah n sntasa berjaya in whatever i do..Doakan mel happy n dpt suami yg amazing mcm ayah ye.mel percaya yg redha Allah terletak pda redha ibu-bapa.. itu janji DIA kan ayah..please ayah redhakan semua yg mel buat ea. thankx ! *kisses n big hug* "

i dont hesitate to ask for his doa, kiss him or even hug him.. cause i know HE just lends my dad to me, not give..he belongs to HIM, someday he won't be mine. So, i really have to appreciate his entity.

-with love, mel-